Among our close animal relatives, only humans have involved and empathic fathers. Why did evolution favour the devoted dad?
— Read on aeon.co/essays/the-devotion-of-the-human-dad-separates-us-from-other-apes
- Men, do not wear sleeveless shirts or tank tops. Even if you have the arms to pull it off, no one wants to see your armpit hair.
- Even though it is the most magical place on earth, your kids will probably complain. A lot. Do not give in. Just ignore it. Telling them to stop complaining is about as effective as yelling at a lamp post.
- Resign yourself to the fact that each meal in the parks cost $50-$60 for a family of four. No matter what you order. Even if you bring snacks and water in the park, it will cost $50-$60 every time you eat.
- Wait times listed on the app and at the ride are always wrong. Add 15 to 30 minutes to every posted time.
- Go on the Avatar Flight of Passage ride in Animal Kingdom. Get there first thing in the morning and wait 2 hours to get on the ride. Worth it. Even if you didn’t like or see the movie. Worth it.
- Epcot is the best park. Full stop. You can’t argue with the giant ball.
- Build up your walking stamina. If you want to see everything, you’ll probably walk six to eight miles per day. Going from 10 hours a day at a desk to walking all day to hardcore walking is a recipe for a muscle strain.
- Alcohol in the parks is a complete rip-off. Even people who run major league baseball parks say, “Damn, that’s a lot for a beer.” If you need a beer that badly that you spend $10 for a can of Bud Light, you probably have a problem.
- Don’t plan on doing anything in the evening after you visit a park all day. You’re going to be exhausted.
- Enjoy yourself. I know it’s a lot of walking and waiting, but you should have known that ahead of time. If you want a relaxing time, go to the beach.
Please check out this article on The Outline Toward and Expanded Canon of Dad Rock. It’s a really excellent review of what I think is a lazy term for music that old white guys like.
Regardless of who fits the criteria, there is one across-the-board commonality: dad rock is typically assumed to be music for straight, white, American dads, despite the observable truth that not all dads are straight, white, or American. Think about it: What would you call dad rock for black fathers? Latino fathers? Chinese fathers? Indian fathers? Fathers born in Europe? In Africa? In Asia? Gay fathers? Can you give an answer off the top of your head, or even after thinking about it? I’m betting no. When we talk about dad rock, we talk about just one kind of dad. And reader, there are so many kinds of dads in the world.
I am one of the aforementioned straight, white, American dads. I bet my kids think the music I listen to is dad rock. I don’t think it’s nearly as straightforward as that. My parents mostly listened to 50s and 60s music. They had an epic 45 collection. My dad made a mix-tape for one of our epic car rides that I turned into an Apple Music playlist. Not only does it bring me closer to my deceased father, but I truly like the songs. If “Maybellene” by Chuck Berry doesn’t get you going, I don’t know what’s wrong with you.
One of my favorite bands is The Beastie Boys. I’ve loved their stuff since college. I can still just put one of those albums on in the car and just let it play. Is that considered dad rock? What about The Presidents of the United States of America, Meat Puppets, Metallica? Is that dad rock?
Unlike other articles on dads, the above article doesn’t lump dad’s together. It explores dads from different backgrounds and discusses how music contributed to them becoming not only the people they are today but the types of fathers they are. Check it out.